One Angry Sister

I was one angry sister when Lindsey was born. BUT. God sure knows what He is doing. Now, my sister is one of my best friends and has given me an amazing Godson, an adorable nephew and my first bother(in-law).

I was the only child for two years until……

Thirty something years ago, today, my mother (Janice Gibriano Bengivenga) had a beautiful baby girl, Lindsey Bengivenga Klimuc. I was no longer the only child. I had to share EVERYONE & EVERYTHING with this new sibling. I hated it! I disliked that she got attention from everyone that I used to have wrapped around my little finger.
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Me & Lindsey- 1990 something?
For years, I bossed her around, picked on her because of her weight or whatever popped into my narrow-minded brain at the time and may have thrown a barbie or two at her :-/.
I even fed her mysterious berries from a tree. Oh yes, I will not forget that! Poor thing had to be taken by ambulance and have her stomach pumped. She was not even two years old and trusted her big sis to protect her. Come to find out they were not poisonous, thank you Lord! And in my defense,I did not even know what poisonous meant! Nonetheless,  I’m sure you could understand that I was not happy she was in my life and I would do whatever it took to make her miserable.
Some years later, our mom had another girl, Alissa Robbins and she was my buddy. I remember partnering up with her to attack poor Lindsey Bengivenga Klimuc.
Several years later, mom had yet another girl….. now you know where I get the 4-girls thing from. This cute bundle of joy made us all smile. (I’m not tagging her because she will remove it anyway) Lauren brought our family even closer together. She was the center of attention, for sure! Though now Lauren was the center of attention, I still felt the need to hurt my sister and poke fun of her.
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The Bengivenga Girls 2012
It was not until High School, I started to realize that she is a beautiful person inside AND out. But I would never ever admit that to anyone. She was, and still is, smart, faithful, caring, as a matter of fact but with tact and so amazing with children.
About 4 years after High School, I got married and then had my first baby girl, Summer. I chose Lindsey as my daughter’s Godmother. I knew and trusted that she would always point her in the right direction. My daughter, now 13, absolutely loves her Aunt Linny and considers her a “Mommy”. She loves me and my children unconditionally. Only two are her God Children but she loves all 5 as if they were her own.
God has done wondrous things in our relationship. She is a person I can trust and talk to, without judgement. That being said, she would always tell me if I’m being ridiculous or stupid as well. I do not mind though and appreciate the honesty. We may get irritated with each other every now and then but nothing will break the bond.
(Read the poem, “The Importance of a Sister”, below.)
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Linds & her family in 2011 w/my minis 1 & 2
I regret those mean things I have said and done to her, in the past. I wish I could take every bit back. I’m grateful she has let go and forgiven me.
My sister is one of my best friends and has given me an amazing Godson, an adorable nephew and my first bother (in-law).
I was one angry sister when Lindsey was born. BUT. God sure knows what He is doing.  I’m so thankful for her and could not imagine my life without her.
Lindsey Bengivenga Klimuc, I know today is your day but it is also a special day for me. It is a day God blessed me with an amazing bestie.

Happy Birthday Lindsey! I love you so much!

The Importance of a Sister

(This poem applies to all three of my sisters. 🙂 I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did!)

A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue, you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay.A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.When she is by your side, the world is filled with life,
When she is not around, your days are full of strife.
A sister is a blessing who fills your heart with love,
She flies with you in life with the beauty of a dove.

A companion to whom you can express your feelings,
She doesn’t let you get bored at family dealings.
Whether you are having your ups or downs,
She always helps you with a smile and never frowns.

With a sister, you cannot have a grudge.
She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge.
Having a sister is not just a trend,
It is knowing you can always turn to her, your best friend.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/why-i-love-my-sister

Don’t forget to tell your sis you love her!

Is it bedtime yet??

I keep telling myself, this will get easier and God does not give you anything you can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.

I have yet to announce this on my blog but many of you know from my Social Media Channels that my 5th child, 4th girl, was born about a month ago. (Birth story to come) Since then, I’ve been adjusting to this new “normal”.

My two older daughters, from a previous marriage, live with their Dad & Step Mom most of the time. I thought with only three it would be a little easier. Boy, was I wrong!

I now am a mother of three kids under 4, two of them are 14 months a part & the youngest is a newborn. Whoa…never thought this would ever happen.

Every newborn requires middle of the night feedings. Bailey, my newborn, is pretty good about feeding at night but I need uninterrupted sleep to function. Despite getting up 2-3 times , I’m hanging in there. I am thankful I can sleep until 8 or 9am. My minis are good about that.

Usually my husband takes my son to summer camp, or, our babysitter comes to babysit my 14 month old, Skylar, so I could run errands, attend appointments & work. Not today! 

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For the first time ever, I ventured out with the 3 “mini”minis today. Ryan is supposed to be at camp at 9am….that did not happen! He got to camp an hour late. On the way into camp, my Skylar tripped and bumped her head on the pavement. She is fine and only cried for a few minutes. There is now a red bump on her forehead.

Next the two girls and I headed to the Post Office. Skylar thought it would be fun to keep running behind the counter while I was taping a package. It took me about 15mins to finish the package because I had to keep stopping to grab her. Now, I know you’re probably thinking that I should have put her in the stroller, well I don’t have a double to fit both car seat for Bailey & Skylar. There was no way I could carry Bailey & the package and push Skylar.

When we finally got back in the car, 30 minutes later, I was shakey. It dawned on me that I was so worried about feeding the minis but ran out of the house without fueling myself. There was not a drive thru Starbucks around and I didn’t want to take the girls out again, so I did it. I went through a Chick fil a drive thru for a frosted Coffee. Never ever do I do fast food but refused to take girls out again. Also, says the trainer in me, some fuel is better than no fuel. #FitTip

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Next, we’re off to the Chiropractor. Because of my poor posture due to lack of ab muscles and constant baby holding, my body is compensating with my back thus causing pain. It wasn’t an option, I had to get adjusted! I’m in there waiting, Bailey needs change and fed and Skylar starts to fuss because she was confined to the stroller. Thankfully, I got my adjustment while the receptionist held Bailey Boo and the doc distracted Sky. I would have loved to have stayed for some treatment but it was already time to pick up Ryan.

Back in the car we go to drive down the street. Can I just say, I strongly dislike taking the car. I prefer to walk everywhere because 1) I’m moving & burning calories 2)I do not have to keep moving kids in and out of the car and 3) BOB (stroller) requires 0 gallons of gas to cart the kids. Unfortunately, not everything is in walking distance or walking accessible with kids.

After searching a few minutes for a spot , I pull in , turned off the car and look back, they are asleep! I was already five minutes late and really did not want to wake them up or take much more time picking up Ryan. Thank the Lord, one of my co workers walks out and was gracious enough to stay at the car and watch the girls. 

Back home we go but only to clean, cook, clean and cook some more followed by baths, laundry & play time. Oh and I’ve got to get my workout & work in somehow!  IS IT BEDTIME YET? I’m exhausted physically, mentally and it is only NOON! How the heck can I do this daily? 

Can’t believe I’m saying this but its actually easier with all 5 minis! They drive me insane with their constant bickering but my 2 older girls are very helpful. I’m also able to have somewhat of a conversation with them. I keep telling myself, this will get easier and God does not give you anything you can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much. 😉

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What’s Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander.

Double standards are everywhere! Let’s dive into the meaning of “What is good for the Goose, is good for the Gander”.

Since I’m on a vacation, I’ve had just a few extra moments to do something for me. I say a few moments because it’s a “family vacation”. And Mommys – I know you can relate that a family vacation does not mean vacation from mommy duties. During the few moments for myself, I enjoy Studying for my Nutrition Certification and writing.
This particular topic been a huge theme in my life as of late and it certainly coincides with my previous blog on Fairness or Happiness.
Let’s dive into the meaning of “What is good for the Goose, is good for the Gander”.

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According to Wiktionary, “What is good for one type is equally good for another type, despite any irrelevant differences between the types”.
Now, I have been on both sides.
In my previous marriage and earlier relationships between my sisters,  I will freely admit I would give the double standard. With age and Faith, I’m a little less of the “Gander”, or is it Goose? 🙂 I think you get my point.
I stumbled upon an article this morning that prompted me to blog on the whole Goose/Gander issue. “Does Double Standard Exist in your Relationship
I don’t know the author but loved that she nailed this issue and offered words of wisdom.
The fact is, don’t be mistreated or mistreat in any relationship. Be strong, work it out and recognize when it it’s happening. That’s my 2 cents for the day.

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Happiness or Fairness?

“The happiest people don’t worry too much about whether life is fair or not, they just get on with it”.
-Andrew Matthews

 

I’m not a fan of really long Social Media posts. It’s not because I don’t care. I genuinely do! I really don’t have the time. I started this as a Facebook update but decided  this one belongs on the blog for people to read at their leisure, if they so desire.

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Focus on what matters.

“The happiest people don’t worry too much about whether life is fair or not, they just get on with it”.
-Andrew Matthews

This one is hard for me. Whether it be regarding me, my children, my friends, family or strangers, I am all about fairness. I have a very hard time when things aren’t fair, for ANYONE-even if it’s with myself.  For example, if I receive, win or earn anything that another person may lose out on , I feel bummed! It’s like I ripped someone off.

What helps me through these types of situations is knowing that, in the end, God will take care of it. We all have our turn in this thing called life and need to remember that  happiness is a choice- fair or not! 

You can consistently receive less than someone else- for no apparent reason or because the other person may work just a tad harder than you- who knows! We can compare ourselves to the other person and then compete to fill a void that only seemingly makes us happy. You can also choose to be miserable and hold a grudge against the person on the receiving end. But what about being content with what you have, focus on what matters and move on from there! Things may not always be fair but you ALWAYS have a choice to be happy or not. 

 

 

A Tribute to my Mother

Growing up, I thought you were a little crazy at times but I’ve always been proud to have you by my side. My mother, Janice , I love you & I’m thankful God gave me you as “mom.”

My mother, Janice , I love you & I’m thankful God gave me you as “mom.”

Growing up, I thought you were a little crazy at times but I’ve always been proud to have you by my side. Even though I had to share you with three younger sisters, daddy, work and countless organizations you graciously volunteered, I could ALWAYS rely on you.

I remember when I was about 12 and you told us you were pregnant with # 4. I thought, and maybe even said, “gross,  you’re too old” & “I will never have that many kids”. After the initial shock, I did (& still do) admire you for raising four girls. I could not see our family any other way.  All three sisters are my best friends and all three are the best Aunts to my children.

I have to say that I’m quite proud to follow in your footsteps with four girls (and then some) of my own. The only difference is you raised all of us without your mother physically here on earth. I’m forever thankful and grateful to the Lord that you have been able to take part in most of our precious and vital moments.

How amazing that you were present for almost all of your grandchildren’s births? If not at the birth, you arrived shortly after ready to do what Nonna’s do best! Remember when your first grandchild- my first child- was born? You were 3,000 miles away but quickly took the first flight out to assist me with the awkward transition- you know the one where you go from being a “mommy-to be-to a MOM. I honestly wasn’t sure what to do with her.  I stayed up all night long holding her and she just stared at me. Then Nonna came to the rescue during a literal firestorm! (San Diego Wildfires of 2003) I was reminded to have faith, keep moving and that it is alright to take a rest.  I’m not sure if I ever told you how much I appreciated your assistance during that time -and every other time.

I will also never forget the love and respect your showed for your heavenly grandson, Tyler. Even though he was so tiny, you never once considered him to be less than human. I am forever grateful for you during that tragic time. I may even envy you a bit for holding him- something I chose not to do but regret now.

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With God’s hand, you gave me life, love, my sisters, several tangible gifts, the desire to give & encourage others, creativity, love of cleaning, the faith to keep moving, a shoulder to cry on and more. Yet I ask, “What have I  done for you mother”?

I tell myself, if I had the money I’d buy you so much to repay you. I know you like your purses & clothes but that’s not what you’d really want or expect. Sure, it would be nice right? After all these years of being your kid, I’d like to say I know the greatest gifts for you. Please correct me if I’m wrong when I say that this tribute is one of them.

An affirmation of my love, respect and appreciation for you as a mother & grandmother and the confirmation that your work as a mom has paid off.

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Mother, thank you for everything and Happy Mother’s Day!

Spread Too Thin: When enough is enough.

What I’m realizing is what was once my passion is no longer my passion. It is a job just getting me some sort of income. I no longer have a desire to do it and it is an actual pain rather than enjoyment. I see that side of my career struggling and quite frankly, I do not really care. If this is the case, how could I be the best at it?

Were you ever so passionate about something that you would do anything for it? Whether it be a hobby or a job,  I’m sure everyone has felt that way at one point or another.

I’ve always had a passion for exercise and had the desire to motivate others to move & make healthier choices.  I was not a certified Personal Trainer but I really did have a good sense of the body and how it physically functions.  I had always been into gymnastics or recreational exercise. I’ve even coached gymnastics for years, including competitive team. I even studied to receive my fitness and nutrition diploma through an online school. This was just for fun and was not required for anything  I was doing at the time. During those years, I felt a push to be a trainer, especially after receiving my diploma  but I chose retail instead.

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Working in retail for years and moving up the ladder taught me many things. Those things I will forever take with me wherever or whichever path I choose. I will tell you this- and yes a little rant- I absolutely love GAP Brand. But having a quota for credit card applications was not fun. Especially when you were the person driving those to persuade others into signing up. I mean, it is their credit?? Really? I get it and believed in the card myself, but not everyone feels that way. Besides, there is way too much fraud out there. I decided I no longer wanted to be responsible for the credit cards and other issues that I will not go into right now. I made the decision to quit and pursue my fitness passion.

For about a year, I studied my tail off. I wrote numerous essays and completed case studies. Prior to taking the official exam, I applied at a gym as a fitness attendant. I wanted to become acclimated to the environment and  get my “foot in the door.”

I took the examination, I passed with flying colors and moved over to the training department. I loved it and loved helping others. My focus as a trainer was to make fitness fun and safe for everyone.

After training for awhile, I discovered a different environment, Group Fitness. I became certified in this and used my trainer skills while in class. I even created a program called Get in Sh8pe, which incorporated the best of both worlds, Personal Training and Group Fitness. It was specifically designed  for women who were afraid of the gym, intimidated by classes and fitness buffs and those who needed a jump start or restart.

In 2013, I discovered Social Media. This was a great way to connect with those who have similar ideas of fitness & Health as me. Thus began a little social media community called  Move More Fitness. The Move More Fitness name was initially my side business & training name but that soon changed after this community was established.

I was on a roll with clients, classes and the In Shape in 8. I even took on in home clients and eventually transitioned to just in home clients rather than gym clients. In Shape in 8 also became an instructor program for fitness professionals and our family was , and still is, growing!

Too many things are on my plate and I am being spread thin. I know I’m not alone and many have this problem. Sometimes we need to stop and ask “Is this what I want?” I  finally have asked myself, what does Adrienne want to do? Where can I be helpful & dedicated to others without taking away from my family and my own healthy lifestyle?

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What I’m realizing is what was once my passion is no longer my passion. It is a job just getting me some sort of income. I no longer have a desire to do it and it is an actual pain rather than enjoyment.  I see that side of my career struggling and quite frankly, I do not really care. If this is the case, how could I be the best at it?

I’ve decided that I am no longer going to do one on one training. I want to focus on my family, educating myself and creating quality programs for group classes. I also would like to make the most out of the awesome programs and fitness organizations which were created to inspire, educate and motivate others.

There, I said it. Wow, I feel so much better! Yes my income will be down, a lot, but I have Faith. God will provide if I listen. I’m listening….I think! 🙂

Sometimes we have to admit when enough is enough and let go of the things that may have held our passion at one point but no longer has a place in our life.

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Whoops! (There It Is)

I think most of us can agree that life can sure throw some curve balls. I am a mom and have been for over 12 years. I never thought I’d have 4 children. But as that saying goes, “expect the unexpected”.

I think most of us can agree that life can sure throw some curve balls. I am a mom and have been for over 12 years. I never thought I’d have 4 children. But as that saying goes, “expect the unexpected”.

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Autumn, Summer, Skylar & Ryan…..My Four Monkeys!

Even though I never thought I’d have several children, they were really all planned. Not one of them was unplanned, including my angel baby, Tyler. He would have been number four but passed away at 16 weeks in the womb.

Right after having my youngest, who is now 9 months old,  people ask  would if we are done. I replied,  “I’d love to be done but ultimately it is up to God”.  I mean, how can I say absolutely not when we should be open to life. Besides, I was ready to restart my fitness journey and move forward with the MMF organization, 110%.  Well, God sure has a sense of humor! 

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I try to be a decent Catholic.

I expected my period early December and even though I felt like it was coming, it just was not happening. For my piece of mind, I took a leftover unused test from my pregnancy with Skylar – my youngest. I knew it would be negative because I had tracked my cycle and was not showing signs of ovulation.  Much to my shock & surprise, it came out very positive. I cried and cried. I called my mother and cried some more and just laid numb on the couch for the rest of the day. For days, I did not believe it and was adamant that this was not real. I felt embarrassed, helpless and alone. I was afraid to tell anyone, including my sisters who are my best friends.

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12 Weeks

After several weeks, I finally decided to go to the doctor.  By this time, I was over 10 weeks. This certainly is not too late to go to the OB but with other pregnancies,  I’d go as soon as 6-8 weeks.  I think a part of me was expecting a false positive pregnancy or a miscarriage. 

My husband and I went for the first initial visit. My OB/GYN is a practice of great doctors and I’ve had them all a part of a delivery or a procedure. Needless to say, they know me well and I am very comfortable with all of them. For this particular visit, I had Dr. Maute . She has got to be the sweetest doctor ever &I could talk to her for hours. She was with us when when delivered our Angel Baby and has the greatest bedside manners. Dr. Maute walked in the room and just smiled. With a very positive attitude and outlook, she helped ease the tension and fear I had and reassured me everything would be okay. The ultrasound began and I waited to see if I really had a another little life inside of me. As soon as the ultrasound began…..THERE IT WAS!  A strong heartbeat and lots of movement from this little one. 

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Baby Vose

After this appointment, I accepted that God has created this life for a reason. Though I’m unsure why, He has the ultimate plan and I’m just going with it.

Since the initial prenatal visit, I have been back about twice. The baby is still growing and so is my belly. Am I happy ??  Well, I am happy God  has chosen me to carry out His plan. But I’m not going to lie, I’m scared!  The WHAT IF’s and HOW’s haunt me daily.

Despite my griping and moaning, I do believe these little guys have a reason for being created. It may be a “whoops” on our part but not for God. He doesn’t make mistakes. 

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16 Weeks

7 Intention Filled Actions for a Better You!

Many start their New Year’s Resolutions January 1st, or somewhere around there. Let’s face it, the Holidays are incredibly busy leaving me not much time to figure out real solid goals & intentions for the New Year. Instead of quickly compiling a list of goals or resolutions right at the start of the New Year, I decided to take a Yoga Group’s Instagram Challenge.

Many start their New Year’s Resolutions January 1st, or somewhere around there. Let’s face it, the Holidays are incredibly busy leaving me not much time to figure out real solid goals & intentions for the New Year. Instead of quickly compiling a list of goals or resolutions right at the start of the New Year,  I decided to take a Yoga Group’s Instagram Challenge.

This seven day Challenge gave me a chance to really focus on what, where , how and why I’d like to improve. After this seven day Challenge and much reflection, thought and prayer, I’ve come up with my 7 Intention Filled Actions For A Better Me. 

Fitness:

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For the next year, I will work on Acro Yoga with my sweet minis, Summer, Autumn, Ryan & Skylar. Spending time, capturing moments and moving more! Maybe even get my husband in on it. Oh yes of course this includes pinchas, handstands and other funky things. 

Knowledge:

One of the many benefits of Yoga is it’s a great antidote for muscle imbalances and misalignment. My knowledge goal is to learn more of which poses aid in healing & incorporate more of these basic yoga poses to myself, students & clients.

Relationships:

10326526_1101241993220328_434665821_n(1)Maintaining healthy relationships is incredibly important to me but I may not always be great at it. As stress arises, I tend to runaway or lash out at the ones who mean so much to me. The pictures represent each part of my life. 1st- I’m a Catholic Christian & God has to be at the center for me. If He’s not….well everything kind of goes down the drain. Without Him, I’m nothing. Our relationship hasn’t been the greatest the last 2 months, I’m not going to lie . Totally my fault….. but that is changing. Next my kids, my husband, my sisters (I have 3) & family/extended family- including my girls’ step mom, half brothers & father. Finally, my students & clients & of course the Move More Fitness family.

Health:

I’ve decided to change my diet up this year. Instead of my normal Protein/Superfood Shake, I’m trying something different. Same idea, just different products & ingredients. After 6 years of being on the same product, my body needs a change. I will omit as much wheat from my diet as I can. Please note, I’m not claiming it is bad for a person and believe me I had my fair share. Growing up Italian we lived on bread & pasta. I’m finding that my body just doesn’t like it like it used to. Oh….I will be eating carbs, don’t get me wrong. My point is , listen to your body. It will talk! I will also continue to take my Wheatgrass shots , as I fully believe it is the cure all! Seriously. Get a shot! 

Bad Habits:

There are several bad habits I’d like to break. The biggest is negative thinking. Find those triggers and nip them in the bud. If thoughts start to come into my head say “Bu-Bye”.

Mindfulness:

I’d like to be more mindful of recognizing others good deeds and make an extra effort to show appreciation. Especially to my Husband and family.

Reflections & Blessings:

I have had many bumps, turns, detours in my life and I know it’s not over. I thank God He has never left my side even though I may have put Him on the back burner. The same with my family. They have never ever left my side and what a beautiful blessing to have such an amazing family who’d do anything for me and my children . Reflecting back….I have not taken full advantage of my blessings. I mean that’s the idea, God blesses us and wants us to share His gifts. I want to make sure I do everything -parenting, business, teaching, training, social media, and whatever else is thrown my way- the way He intends me to do them. It will be very hard and I may not adhere to everything but I’m ready and willing.

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Ponder these areas one day at a time and create your own 7 Intention Filled Actions for a better you. Please feel free to share! I believe if we state our intentions to one another, we will most likely follow through with most, if not all!  

 

I wish you all a healthy and happy New Year. I hope this gets you thinking of changing just one small thing in your lifestyle to be a tad healthier, happier & nicer. 

-Adrienne Vose