One Angry Sister

I was the only child for two years until……

Thirty something years ago, today, my mother (Janice Gibriano Bengivenga) had a beautiful baby girl, Lindsey Bengivenga Klimuc. I was no longer the only child. I had to share EVERYONE & EVERYTHING with this new sibling. I hated it! I disliked that she got attention from everyone that I used to have wrapped around my little finger.
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Me & Lindsey- 1980 something?
For years, I bossed her around, picked on her because of her weight or whatever popped into my narrow-minded brain at the time and may have thrown a barbie or two at her :-/.
I even fed her mysterious berries from a tree. Oh yes, I will not forget that! Poor thing had to be taken by ambulance and have her stomach pumped. She was not even two years old and trusted her big sis to protect her. Come to find out they were not poisonous, thank you Lord! And in my defense,I did not even know what poisonous meant! Nonetheless,  I’m sure you could understand that I was not happy she was in my life and I would do whatever it took to make her miserable.
Some years later, our mom had another girl, Alissa Robbins and she was my buddy. I remember partnering up with her to attack poor Lindsey Bengivenga Klimuc.
Several years later, mom had yet another girl….. now you know where I get the 4-girls thing from. This cute bundle of joy made us all smile. (I’m not tagging her because she will remove it anyway) Lauren brought our family even closer together. She was the center of attention, for sure! Though now Lauren was the center of attention, I still felt the need to hurt my sister and poke fun of her.
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The Bengivenga Girls 2012
It was not until High School, I started to realize that she is a beautiful person inside AND out. But I would never ever admit that to anyone. She was, and still is, smart, faithful, caring, as a matter of fact but with tact and so amazing with children.
About 4 years after High School, I got married and then had my first baby girl, Summer. I chose Lindsey as my daughter’s Godmother. I knew and trusted that she would always point her in the right direction. My daughter, now 13, absolutely loves her Aunt Linny and considers her a “Mommy”. She loves me and my children unconditionally. Only two are her God Children but she loves all 5 as if they were her own.
God has done wondrous things in our relationship. She is a person I can trust and talk to, without judgement. That being said, she would always tell me if I’m being ridiculous or stupid as well. I do not mind though and appreciate the honesty. We may get irritated with each other every now and then but nothing will break the bond.
(Read the poem, “The Importance of a Sister”, below.)
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Linds & her family in 2011 w/my minis 1 & 2
I regret those mean things I have said and done to her, in the past. I wish I could take every bit back. I’m grateful she has let go and forgiven me.
My sister is one of my best friends and has given me an amazing Godson, an adorable nephew and my first bother (in-law).
I was one angry sister when Lindsey was born. BUT. God sure knows what He is doing.  I’m so thankful for her and could not imagine my life without her.
Lindsey Bengivenga Klimuc, I know today is your day but it is also a special day for me. It is a day God blessed me with an amazing bestie.

Happy Birthday Lindsey! I love you so much!

 

The Importance of a Sister

(This poem applies to all three of my sisters. 🙂 I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did!)

A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue, you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay.

A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.

When she is by your side, the world is filled with life,
When she is not around, your days are full of strife.
A sister is a blessing who fills your heart with love,
She flies with you in life with the beauty of a dove.

A companion to whom you can express your feelings,
She doesn’t let you get bored at family dealings.
Whether you are having your ups or downs,
She always helps you with a smile and never frowns.

With a sister, you cannot have a grudge.
She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge.
Having a sister is not just a trend,
It is knowing you can always turn to her, your best friend.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/why-i-love-my-sister

Don’t forget to tell your sis you love her!

Mom vs Step-Mom

Have you gone through or are you going through a divorce? Do you have children with your ex or soon to be ex? I sympathize with you and your family. Divorce is hard on everyone involved. I’ve been there as my ex-husband and I were married for nine years with two girls, Summer & Autumn. For various reasons, we both decided it was time to move on. Our marriage was annulled in the Church and legally dissolved.

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How some Moms handle situations

Let me start this off by stating, everything we did was amicable. There was some arguing but for the most part we agreed and found common ground. Especially if it was in the best interest of the girls.

In this particular situation, both I and the girls’ father thought it would be best if we kept the girls in the same house and school. We wanted them to have some familiarity and not get too thrown off. My ex husband kept the house and that mean’t I had to give up seeing the girls nightly. We are very blessed to a) get along and b) live near each other so they stay with me often. Not to mention, I know their father loves them very much and would do nothing but the best for them. I also had faith that this was the right thing to do and needed to trust God. Yes, I know many will judge and say the opposite and perhaps even call me a horrible mother. Sure sometimes I feel like it but what I’m about to tell you will confirm my faith & choices.

I knew one day the girls’ father would remarry. In fact, I even prayed for the perfect mate for my ex and stepmother for my girls.

The day came and I knew my ex had found the perfect women for him. I mean PERFECT!!! This lady bakes- like real goodies, loves kids and animals, is a teacher and a planner. 

From the start, I really liked her and was grateful she had come into our family. Let’s face it, we are all a family. I’m not sure she thought I was genuine in the beginning but I do not blame her. I mean, how many ex-wives get along with the new wives? (Hence the picture above)

I know it may seem strange and we have had some minor conflicts, mostly due to miscommunication, but I refuse to hate 
this lovely woman.

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Me & My girls’ Momma #2

This amazing mother took on & loves my two girls as if they were her own. Do you know she even volunteered to be Autumn’s Girl Scout Leader?  

Because I only have the girls overnight each week and for one long weekend per month, she constantly keeps me in the loop . We work together for the girls and our sons are buddies too. They are about 18 months apart and my son, Ryan, just adores her son. We’ve had several  play dates.  I think it is good for the kids to see us all getting along. 

Without her, I don’t know where I, or my girls, would be. God seems like He knows what He’s doing! I guess we just need to trust that once in awhile 🙂

A Tip from Me: If you are a divorced parent, I want to warn you that you may sometimes deal with the kids playing parents against each other. My suggestion to you would be to take most things your children say, about the other parent, with a grain of salt. Simply just speak to the other parent prior to jumping to conclusions. We have and will continue to experience this with the girls. Especially since Summer is about to be a teenager.