Whoops! (There It Is)

I think most of us can agree that life can sure throw some curve balls. I am a mom and have been for over 12 years. I never thought I’d have 4 children. But as that saying goes, “expect the unexpected”.

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Autumn, Summer, Skylar & Ryan…..My Four Monkeys!

Even though I never thought I’d have several children, they were really all planned. Not one of them was unplanned, including my angel baby, Tyler. He would have been number four but passed away at 16 weeks in the womb.

Right after having my youngest, who is now 9 months old,  people ask  would if we are done. I replied,  “I’d love to be done but ultimately it is up to God”.  I mean, how can I say absolutely not when we should be open to life. Besides, I was ready to restart my fitness journey and move forward with the MMF organization, 110%.  Well, God sure has a sense of humor! 

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I try to be a decent Catholic.

I expected my period early December and even though I felt like it was coming, it just was not happening. For my piece of mind, I took a leftover unused test from my pregnancy with Skylar – my youngest. I knew it would be negative because I had tracked my cycle and was not showing signs of ovulation.  Much to my shock & surprise, it came out very positive. I cried and cried. I called my mother and cried some more and just laid numb on the couch for the rest of the day. For days, I did not believe it and was adamant that this was not real. I felt embarrassed, helpless and alone. I was afraid to tell anyone, including my sisters who are my best friends.

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12 Weeks

After several weeks, I finally decided to go to the doctor.  By this time, I was over 10 weeks. This certainly is not too late to go to the OB but with other pregnancies,  I’d go as soon as 6-8 weeks.  I think a part of me was expecting a false positive pregnancy or a miscarriage. 

My husband and I went for the first initial visit. My OB/GYN is a practice of great doctors and I’ve had them all a part of a delivery or a procedure. Needless to say, they know me well and I am very comfortable with all of them. For this particular visit, I had Dr. Maute . She has got to be the sweetest doctor ever &I could talk to her for hours. She was with us when when delivered our Angel Baby and has the greatest bedside manners. Dr. Maute walked in the room and just smiled. With a very positive attitude and outlook, she helped ease the tension and fear I had and reassured me everything would be okay. The ultrasound began and I waited to see if I really had a another little life inside of me. As soon as the ultrasound began…..THERE IT WAS!  A strong heartbeat and lots of movement from this little one. 

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Baby Vose

After this appointment, I accepted that God has created this life for a reason. Though I’m unsure why, He has the ultimate plan and I’m just going with it.

Since the initial prenatal visit, I have been back about twice. The baby is still growing and so is my belly. Am I happy ??  Well, I am happy God  has chosen me to carry out His plan. But I’m not going to lie, I’m scared!  The WHAT IF’s and HOW’s haunt me daily.

Despite my griping and moaning, I do believe these little guys have a reason for being created. It may be a “whoops” on our part but not for God. He doesn’t make mistakes. 

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16 Weeks

Mom vs Step-Mom

Have you gone through or are you going through a divorce? Do you have children with your ex or soon to be ex? I sympathize with you and your family. Divorce is hard on everyone involved. I’ve been there as my ex-husband and I were married for nine years with two girls, Summer & Autumn. For various reasons, we both decided it was time to move on. Our marriage was annulled in the Church and legally dissolved.

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How some Moms handle situations

Let me start this off by stating, everything we did was amicable. There was some arguing but for the most part we agreed and found common ground. Especially if it was in the best interest of the girls.

In this particular situation, both I and the girls’ father thought it would be best if we kept the girls in the same house and school. We wanted them to have some familiarity and not get too thrown off. My ex husband kept the house and that mean’t I had to give up seeing the girls nightly. We are very blessed to a) get along and b) live near each other so they stay with me often. Not to mention, I know their father loves them very much and would do nothing but the best for them. I also had faith that this was the right thing to do and needed to trust God. Yes, I know many will judge and say the opposite and perhaps even call me a horrible mother. Sure sometimes I feel like it but what I’m about to tell you will confirm my faith & choices.

I knew one day the girls’ father would remarry. In fact, I even prayed for the perfect mate for my ex and stepmother for my girls.

The day came and I knew my ex had found the perfect women for him. I mean PERFECT!!! This lady bakes- like real goodies, loves kids and animals, is a teacher and a planner. 

From the start, I really liked her and was grateful she had come into our family. Let’s face it, we are all a family. I’m not sure she thought I was genuine in the beginning but I do not blame her. I mean, how many ex-wives get along with the new wives? (Hence the picture above)

I know it may seem strange and we have had some minor conflicts, mostly due to miscommunication, but I refuse to hate 
this lovely woman.

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Me & My girls’ Momma #2

This amazing mother took on & loves my two girls as if they were her own. Do you know she even volunteered to be Autumn’s Girl Scout Leader?  

Because I only have the girls overnight each week and for one long weekend per month, she constantly keeps me in the loop . We work together for the girls and our sons are buddies too. They are about 18 months apart and my son, Ryan, just adores her son. We’ve had several  play dates.  I think it is good for the kids to see us all getting along. 

Without her, I don’t know where I, or my girls, would be. God seems like He knows what He’s doing! I guess we just need to trust that once in awhile 🙂

A Tip from Me: If you are a divorced parent, I want to warn you that you may sometimes deal with the kids playing parents against each other. My suggestion to you would be to take most things your children say, about the other parent, with a grain of salt. Simply just speak to the other parent prior to jumping to conclusions. We have and will continue to experience this with the girls. Especially since Summer is about to be a teenager.