Have you gone through or are you going through a divorce? Do you have children with your ex or soon to be ex? I sympathize with you and your family. Divorce is hard on everyone involved. I’ve been there as my ex-husband and I were married for nine years with two girls, Summer & Autumn. For various reasons, we both decided it was time to move on. Our marriage was annulled in the Church and legally dissolved.
How some Moms handle situations
Let me start this off by stating, everything we did was amicable. There was some arguing but for the most part we agreed and found common ground. Especially if it was in the best interest of the girls.
In this particular situation, both I and the girls’ father thought it would be best if we kept the girls in the same house and school. We wanted them to have some familiarity and not get too thrown off. My ex husband kept the house and that mean’t I had to give up seeing the girls nightly. We are very blessed to a) get along and b) live near each other so they stay with me often. Not to mention, I know their father loves them very much and would do nothing but the best for them. I also had faith that this was the right thing to do and needed to trust God. Yes, I know many will judge and say the opposite and perhaps even call me a horrible mother. Sure sometimes I feel like it but what I’m about to tell you will confirm my faith & choices.
I knew one day the girls’ father would remarry. In fact, I even prayed for the perfect mate for my ex and stepmother for my girls.
The day came and I knew my ex had found the perfect women for him. I mean PERFECT!!! This lady bakes- like real goodies, loves kids and animals, is a teacher and a planner.
From the start, I really liked her and was grateful she had come into our family. Let’s face it, we are all a family. I’m not sure she thought I was genuine in the beginning but I do not blame her. I mean, how many ex-wives get along with the new wives? (Hence the picture above)
I know it may seem strange and we have had some minor conflicts, mostly due to miscommunication, but I refuse to hate
this lovely woman.
This amazing mother took on & loves my two girls as if they were her own. Do you know she even volunteered to be Autumn’s Girl Scout Leader?
Because I only have the girls overnight each week and for one long weekend per month, she constantly keeps me in the loop . We work together for the girls and our sons are buddies too. They are about 18 months apart and my son, Ryan, just adores her son. We’ve had several play dates. I think it is good for the kids to see us all getting along.
Without her, I don’t know where I, or my girls, would be. God seems like He knows what He’s doing! I guess we just need to trust that once in awhile 🙂
A Tip from Me: If you are a divorced parent, I want to warn you that you may sometimes deal with the kids playing parents against each other. My suggestion to you would be to take most things your children say, about the other parent, with a grain of salt. Simply just speak to the other parent prior to jumping to conclusions. We have and will continue to experience this with the girls. Especially since Summer is about to be a teenager.
7 thoughts on “Mom vs Step-Mom”
After a LONG road, I get along with my ex’s new wife. She also was his mistress in our marriage, so it took a lot of work. However, we now sit together at sporting events, talk on the phone and she watches my son for my current marriage every once in awhile. My ex and I have both been married before, there are many hands in the pot at all times. The only way to make it work for the kids, is to get along and respect each other!! Thank you for the post 🙂
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Wow, you are a good woman. I bet that was difficult. How awesome to hear !!!
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It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. In the end, just like everything else in my life I realized that it happened for a reason. She has been in my kids lives since they were 1 and 2. They love her and she loves them so much. In the end, that is all that I care about.
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I am NOT at all surprised that you have found a way to welcome and care for the woman your ex married. Your heart is much too large not to! Divorce is never easy so I am glad for you that your two families have found a way to do it some amicably! Love you!
Awwww thanks! 🙂 that means a lot. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ sometimes I don’t feel like it.
This is amazing. I am not in this situation but I am in awe of how you handled this. I’m sorry you think some would think you are a bad mom, the way you handle your daughters step mom and embrace her as a part of your girls life proves that you are completely thinking only of your girls best interest! They are lucky girls:)
Awww thanks, that makes me feel good and I appreciate that.